Having a conscious, more mindful Christmas

Over this past year, environmental issues have become mainstream. Many documentaries have brought the plight of our planet into full view and we’ve really had to take stock about how we live our lives day to day. I can honestly say, not a day goes by when I don’t think about it and it has really made me reevaluate how we are approaching Christmas this year.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that it was not just about being kinder to the planet, although my thoughts about it are mainly underpinned by this, but it was also about society’s need to consume, to want more, to buy buy buy. I won’t lie, I’ve always loved shopping, but just buying for the sake of buying wasn’t making me feel good anymore, in fact it was making me feel terrible. I knew I had to change my habits and also aim to teach my 5 year old that Christmas (and the rest of the year) isn’t just about receiving presents. We need to be more conscious about what we were buying, why we are buying it and what impact it is having, and also just to feel content with what we have already and not believe that something shiny and new would somehow make us feel good.

I did mean to write this post a lot earlier so that it might inspire a different approach to the festive season, but alas, work and life took over, but here it is anyway, and even if it’s too late to implement anything this year, hopefully it might be helpful for future…

BUY LESS BUY BETTER

If you’ve read this blog before, or if you are a 91 Magazine reader, then you’ll know I am a big advocate for shopping independently. Some folk may feel that buying in this way is more expensive and, yes it often is - but the best way to approach it is that you can buy one really lovely gift that has meaning and will last, rather than say, three cheaper items. You can also offset it by buying second-hand for other gifts (see next section)

If you are worried that the gift doesn’t look ‘substantial’ enough, then when the recipient opens the gift, take time to enthuse about it, perhaps tell them a little about the maker or if you’ve used the item yourself (a beauty product, for example) tell them how much you love using it and hope they will too. I find so much more joy in buying from independent shops and makers - they will often wrap it beautifully for you, or put in a handwritten note or sometimes they might even throw in a small extra gift! You definitely don’t get that when purchasing from a big corporate brand. Also, these days, most indie sellers and makers are much more conscious about the environment and will have considered the materials they’ve used in their production and also packaging will often be recyclable.

While many small brands struggle to offer big discounts to compete on days like Black Friday, many will offer them from time to time, whether it’s free delivery or a small amount off your order, so do sign up for emails from your favourite independents so you can take advantage of these as and when they are available.

SHOP SECOND HAND

I believe, now more than ever, it is totally acceptable to give someone a gift that is second-hand. Charity shops, vintage shops and eBay are your friend, and you can honestly find some amazing gems AND save yourself money! It is particularly great when you are buying for children as they more than likely won’t notice that it doesn’t have a label on it or it didn’t come in the original box. (which really doesn’t matter anyway) This year, I have picked up some lovely books for Ruby, both in charity shops and on eBay (a vintage The Snowman book which I’m particularly in love with, for example!). I’ve also got her a gorgeous vintage globe and a Donna Wilson for John Lewis dress both from eBay.

If you are unsure how other members of your family or friends will feel about receiving something second-hand, try and sound them out in advance. I knew, for example that it was fine to give my nephews and nieces second-hand presents as me and my sisters-in-law talk about environmental issues a lot together, and they both also shop second-hand. I found some really lovely things for them in our local charity shops - often brands that I would not be able to afford if they were brand new.

Buying second-hand is not only a great way to be kinder to the planet, you’ll often be helping a charity in the process and I can honestly say the buzz from finding something amazing in a charity or vintage shop totally outweighs the usual retail therapy high you get from buying new, mass-produced items!

EXPERIENCE OVER STUFF

As my daughter is still quite young (she’s 5) and still listens to me (!), I really want to teach her the value of experience over stuff - not just at Christmas - but all year round. Most children, when you ask them what they are most excited for at Christmas, they will probably shout “PRESENTS!”, and Ruby is no exception. But, every time we’ve had this conversation in the past few weeks, I’ve tried to then chat to her about how it’s not just about what is under the Christmas tree, but that it’s about spending time with family, having fun days out and fun days at home, too.

Of course, presents are lovely, but we’ve also been trying to teach her that a present doesn’t always have to be a ‘thing’, it can also be an experience or a kind gesture. In November, it was my husband’s birthday. He has a coat that he’s had for years, but the lining had ripped apart. Instead of asking for a replacement coat, he asked me to have it repaired for him. I really made a big deal of this to Ruby - she came with me to the menders and we talked about how much better it was for the planet to mend daddy’s coat than to just throw it away and buy a new one. Then, a few weeks ago, Ruby asked me if I would mend a hole in her onesie and she said, “that can be your Christmas present to me Mummy” - my heart almost burst into tiny pieces! To be fair, I’m not sure how thrilled she’d be if she opened a parcel with her old, mended onesie inside on Christmas day, but the thought was certainly there. :)

It was also lovely to observe her writing her letter to Santa this year. She decided to only list three things - guitar lessons, a Roald Dahl book and craft supplies. I was so thrilled that she came up with the idea of learning to play guitar (she got a mini guitar for her birthday in the summer) and hopefully it’s something she’ll go on to really enjoy. Maybe in years to come when she is strumming away on her guitar we can remind her that Santa brought her her first lessons back when she was 5! It’s unlikely we’d be reminiscing about how he brought her a LOL doll in five or ten years time!

As her main present from us, we got tickets to go and watch The Snowman at the theatre in January. (hence, the vintage book that I will wrap up with the tickets!) Last year, she got tickets to Disney on Ice from her grandparents and it’s the one thing she got that she still talks about now. Those special family days out mean so much to children - it’s those making of memories that mean more to them, even if they don’t realise it now.

My husband and I decided to not buy each other gifts this year but instead both put money into buying ourselves a little night away in the new year. It feels so nice to almost buy ourselves time together rather than gifts we might not even really want.

TIME TOGETHER

As well as these gifts of experience, I’ve also been trying to do different festive activities with Ruby throughout the month of December. The anticipation of Christmas is almost the most exciting part, and some of my fondest memories as a child are of decorating the tree, wrapping gifts together or days out ahead of the ‘big day’. Granted, it can become costly if you opt to do things like ‘meet Santa at Harrods’ or such like, but children, especially younger ones, don’t necessarily need these kinds of extravagant days out. It can simply be a winter walk, gathering natural objects to decorate your home with, or staying at home making cards or decorations. Ruby loves a day out in London, but not necessarily doing anything in particular. Last weekend we went to Coal Drops Yard in Kings Cross and she was mainly interested in looking at the canal, the colourful Christmas trees and the water fountains! We then had lunch together and browsed the Crafty Fox Market and I talked to her about how lovely it is to buy handmade gifts direct from the people who made them. It was such a lovely, festive day together.

TREE AND DECORATIONS

We took a bit more time this year thinking about the most sustainable option for our Christmas tree. When you are considering what to go for, I think it’s worth working out what is best for you and your family. For example, if perhaps you suffer from allergies, then a real tree in the house might not be your best option. If this is the case, then invest in a high quality fake one and make sure you make it last. Pack it away carefully each year and it should last for many years to come. You could also look out for a second-hand one, but do make sure it is good quality, or it probably won’t last.

If you prefer a real tree, then the most sustainable option is a potted tree. But, this might not work for everyone. The idea is to plant it back in the ground each year and then bring it in again every year. You might not have a garden, or if you aren’t particularly green-fingered then the requirement of keeping it alive might be challenging. If you do go for the potted option, a word of advice from a friend of mine who has done this: When you first buy it, choose a relatively small one. Even after just one year, my friend’s tree had grown significantly and they struggled with fitting it inside this year! Give the tree room to grow! We decided against a potted tree as I was unsure of my ability to keep it alive, so we looked into locally grown trees and found a farm about 5 minutes from us. We will then give it over to the recycling men in January.

I recently heard someone talking about how they were planning to buy a full set of new tree decorations this year and it made me wince. The thought of them potentially just chucking out existing (probably plastic) decorations and buying more made me feel really sad for our environment. Our decorations consist of: some inherited from family, a few that we’ve collected gradually over the years and handmade ones. Last year, Ruby and I made some dried orange slices and wool pom poms to hang on the tree and we are using them again this year. They are actually my favourite items on the tree! Making decorations can be one of those activities I mentioned earlier that you can easily do with kids in the run up to Christmas. If you are completely adverse to crafting, then do check out those charity and vintage shops for decorations, you might well find something really cool and retro!

Wrapping, packaging and cards

It is a startling statistic that consumers in the UK will use 227,000 miles of wrapping paper each year. This article is really interesting to find out more about the amount of waste we produce at Christmas. It’s tricky, as it’s hard to get away from the fact that part of the excitement of Christmas - especially for children - is the joy of unwrapping a gift. The problem is that a lot of the wrapping paper we buy is not actually recyclable. Anything shiny and/or glittery in particular is not going to be recycled with your paper waste. So, if anything, try and avoid this kind of paper. Brown paper is one of the best options and you can jazz it up for children by using stamps, paints or adding ribbons and pom poms and for adults a sprig or two of greenery or dried flowers looks wonderful.

I don’t tend to send many cards, just a few to family I don’t see often. I usually delve into my drawer of cards and find a few left over from last year before buying or making new ones. Ruby wanted to give some to her school friends, so I decided to make some. I got some plain brown recycled cards, splattered them with green and white paint and added a wooden Christmas shape. It only took me about 20 mins in total to do the paint splattering and then about 10 mins max to glue on the wooden embellishments, so it wasn’t hugely time consuming and it was super easy to do. Ideally I would’ve forgone the cards thing completely, but I think when you’re a kid, it’s part of the bonding process with your classmates, so we tried to do it in the least impactful way possible, I just hope her friends recycle them after! :)

Also, a note on packaging - there is SO much waste generated from gifts at Christmas. Toys are often over-packaged with loads of plastic casing and those toiletry gift sets (that no-one wants anyway!) are always laden with unnecessary packaging. So, going back to my earlier point about buying from independent or from charity shops: these options will reduce the overall amount of packaging you’ll consume. At the end of the day, the child wants the toy so whether it comes unboxed from a charity shop or eBay really doesn’t matter to them. If you are buying online, which I had to do for some items, you will probably notice that independent sellers will be more considerate about how they package their goods than bigger companies who shipped their goods from a warehouse. So buy indie, buy second-hand! :)

FOOD

SO much food is wasted at Christmas. I’m sure we will all admit to buying too much and cooking too much on the big day. This year we have decided to eat out on Christmas Day. This is for a few reasons - the obvious reduction of stress - no shopping, cooking or cleaning up to do. Then, since in the past few months I’ve made the change to become vegan, and my hubby isn’t eating meat either, we thought it would be easier overall for the family to eat out, that way everyone can choose what they want to eat, and no-one is being forced to eat something they don’t want (or cook something they don’t agree with). With it being my first year as a vegan, I’m also pretty sure my local pub will make a much better nut roast that I could attempt at home! Also, I imagine each person’s meal will be served on their own plate, rather than the table being laden with lots of different side dishes, so I reckon there will definitely be less wastage. I’m not too sure on whether it is better or worse for the environment for us to eat in a pub on Christmas Day, but for this year at least it feels like the right thing for us to do.

EVERYTHING we do has an impact, and while it can become overwhelming to get hung up about every little detail, I feel like just making a few small changes to how we approach this massively over-commericalised time of year can make a difference. It hasn’t dulled my enjoyment of the holiday season one bit, to be honest, it has actually made it much more enjoyable. I’ve have special moments with my daughter, I’ve relished the challenge of finding gifts that are kinder to the planet, and I’m definitely feeling WAY less stressed than usual as I don’t have to think about cooking a huge meal next week! I’d love to hear if you have any thoughts or other suggestions on how to be more conscious and mindful about Christmas, It will continue to be a work in progress. Have a wonderful Christmas all and see you in 2020!

Small sustainable steps we've made

Living more sustainably and more ethically has become increasingly important to me over the past six months while I’ve been absent from this blog. So, I thought I’d stop by and share a few of the small changes I’ve been making to our daily lives. First, here’s a little of what’s been going on in my head…

Climate change and the plight of our planet is not a new story by any means, but it seems that in recent months the world is finally taking notice. I know I certainly have and I have felt so much embarrassment and shame over how we, as a society, have been conducting our wasteful lives over the last few decades. I cringe at how I used to gloat about the bargain clothing I’d picked up for next to nothing, or how I didn’t give a second thought to purchasing yet another bottle of mineral water or a hot drink in a single use cup.

When you watch or read about the effects us humans have had on our planet, I honestly don’t know how anyone could not feel guilt. We have completely disrespected our beautiful environment and the other beings we share it with.

One of the toughest things for people to get their heads around, I think, is that in many ways, we almost need to regress in terms of ‘convenient living'. For so long, we’ve wanted everything to be easy, quick, convenient - and that is what retailers and manufacturers have catered to - we want our lives to be made ever easier. In many cases, it’s this need for convenience which is causing the problem. For one, it has exasperated the overuse of plastic packaging - pre-prepared vegetables in plastic for example, rather than just buying a few loose carrots and chopping them by hand. Clothing - we’ve had the convenience of buying something new that’s super cheap, rather than take the time to mend an existing item. Our mindset has been: ‘it’s so cheap, it doesn’t matter if I throw it in the bin after a few wears’. But, when you discover that 235 million items of clothing went into landfill last year - and that is in the UK alone - it really makes you stop and think.

I’m not going to bleat on about all the issues that urgently need addressing or the facts and figures associated with the problem, as I’ll assume you are already aware, or if you are not, then there are lots of resources out there to find out (a few which I’ve mentioned here). Instead, I thought I’d share a few of the changes I have made - they are nothing drastic -just small, easy steps towards trying to make a difference. I’ve found it best to do it one step at a time and tackle things as you go along rather than trying to change everything in one fell swoop.

Some people may think that it’s not individuals that need to change, it’s governments and big businesses, and yes, they definitely need to tackle some of the big issues with urgency. But, there is so much we can do individually that can make a difference.

There are two thoughts that constantly play on my mind and that help to spur me on:

1/ The idea that my daughter could turn round in 20 years time and say ‘why didn’t you do anything mum?’ How could I explain to her that I could have lived differently to reduce my impact on the environment but I choose not to. It’s not fair on her and it’s not fair on our future generations as a whole for us to not do anything.

2/ I saw a placard that a young person was holding at a climate change protest that said: ‘The biggest threat to our planet is assuming someone else will save it.’ This hit home, as it’s easy to think that we’ll leave this enormous task to the powers that be, but small changes collectively can make a big impact, so we can’t assume that we are not part of the problem individually and that we can’t influence the people in power to do something too.

MY 8 SMALL SUSTAINABLE STEPS

1. I’ve reduced my consumption of meat. I would like to say I have went full vegetarian, but at the moment I am still eating chicken and fish but avoiding all other meat. This has probably been the biggest change to my lifestyle, although so far I haven’t found it that difficult. After watching Cowspiracy, I was convinced I needed to cut out beef, and then one of the comments made in David Attenborough’s Climate Change documentary stuck with me which was that ‘one of the most impactful things we can do in the fight against climate change is to cut down on beef and lamb.’ I know there are many issues with eating chicken and fish also, but you know, baby steps, and I am trying to be mindful of which chicken and fish we buy.

2. I’ve swapped to oat/coconut milk. I was finding large cartons of milk in our fridge problematic for a few reasons - the single use plastic and how many we’d get through a week, as well as the production cycle for cows milk. Initially, we switched to having our milk delivered in glass bottles which felt great to be cutting out the plastic, but then we decided to give some of the alternative milks a try and found it totally fine. Annoyingly, you can’t yet have these milks delivered in glass bottles, but at least they are in cartons rather than plastic bottles.

3. Switching to eco-friendly cleaning products. Ever since becoming a mother, I’ve felt uneasy about having bottles of toxic solutions in our cupboards. It just feels wrong to be actively putting toxins into our air and on our surfaces and clothes. So, I am slowly phasing out any we still have and replacing them with alternatives. I’ve been using brands like Kinn Living - whose products are lovely, although a little pricey and still in plastic bottles. I’ve recently bought an Eco Egg for our laundry which is amazing - it does 720 washes and cuts out the need for detergents and in turn the plastic bottles. I’d also love to try making some of my own cleaning products when time allows.

4. Reducing my clothing purchases. The True Cost was one of the first documentaries I watched about anything to do with the environment. The fashion issue feels like it is possibly one of the most complicated - there are so many facets to it - from who is making your garments - are they being paid fairly? What are their working conditions? - to the materials your clothes are made from to the fact that we are just buying too much and allowing it to end up in landfill. If budget wasn’t a concern, then opting to buy only from ethical brands when you really need something new, but as this isn’t always possible, I think the goal is to simply buy less and buy more mindfully. I ask myself a lot more questions before I commit to a purchase these days (often ending in me not bothering!) I’m being mindful of the fact that I don’t need something new for every occasion, and if I do want to wear something ‘new’, I’ll consider asking a friend if I can borrow something, or I will check out second hand options before going down the ‘brand new’ route.

5. Decorating my home with plants. The homewares market can be just as damaging as the fashion industry as we are constantly being told to ‘update our homes’ and ‘get the latest trends’, so we need to stop and think a little about what we are adding to our homes also. I’ve become a huge plant geek over the past few years so I’ve found that rather than buying objects to decorate our home, I’ve been turning to plants more and more. When I do buy things for the home, I am again much more thoughtful about whether it’s needed, and mainly opting for small, independent brands where possible.

6. Switching out bathroom products. As well as the kitchen, the bathroom is big producer of single use plastic, so we’ve been trying to cut back here. We switched our toilet roll to Who Gives a Crap (a toilet roll delivery service), we changed most of our hand soaps to bars instead of pump bottles and I’ve also stopped using cotton wool pads for removing my make up. I bought one of these muslin cloths and this cleansing butter which is all I need for taking my make up off, reducing the need for loads of plastic bottles of cleanser, toner etc. I’ve also switched to a reusable tampon applicator & organic tampons by Dame. I tried a shampoo bar a while ago and didn’t get on with it at all, but I’ve just bought a Lush one which I’ve heard are good, so hopefully that will suit better. We also switched Ruby’s toothbrush to a bamboo one. Hubby and I use electric ones, but we’ve had them for years and probably only change the heads every 6 months or so.

7. Reducing plastic toys. I suddenly became very aware of how much plastic is used in kids toys and the short life span that most toys have in our lives. I feel like it’s something that should definitely be addressed more widely. It is a constant battle, but I am slowly trying to teach Ruby about plastic pollution and why it’s best for us not to buy these items. Recently, she really wanted to go to McDonalds, and while we do go now and again, I had to sit her down and explain why we couldn’t go so often as I know her main incentive is the happy meal toy. I have banned magazines which have plastic toys stuck on the front and mostly I buy her Dot magazine from time to time, which she loves. Another great independent magazine we’ve bought is Bravery - it’s from the US and pricey, so she usually gets it as part of a birthday or Christmas gift. It focuses on an inspirational ‘brave’ woman in each issue so has a great message. It is tough as she will be given plastic toys as gifts, but I have decided for her birthday in a few weeks I will request that people don’t buy her plastic toys. I’m also putting together plastic-free party bags for her friends.

8. Thoughtful food shopping. I’ve found this to be one of the hardest tasks. Sadly our village doesn’t have a regular food market and not much in the way of independent food stores, so we are a little bit restricted to the major supermarkets. I get so frustrated by the fact that so much of the food in packaged in plastic - and like was highlighted in the recent TV show by Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and Anita Rani - a lot of the loose fruit and veg is more expensive than if you buy it packaged! ridiculous! I have started using the only greengrocers in our village and buying it loose - ironically the staff in there always automatically try to give me a plastic bag rather than trying to promote no plastic themselves! Generally, I am simply trying to be more mindful when shopping and opting for the options with least packaging where possible, and live in the hope that someone might open a zero-waste food shop near me soon!

I’d love to hear what small steps you’ve made and if you are finding it hard or easy to make the changes? We can’t ignore this problem anymore, even the high temperatures this week - particularly in France and Spain - surely highlight that things aren’t right. It’s SO much easier than ever to start making small changes, so let’s do what we can, while we still can!